TREVER'S LETTER TO DAD
Dear Dad,
As we grow older our heroes evolve. Early on they often take the form of a larger than life figure, someone whose physical powers are evenly matched by their quest to make the world a better place. Their sole purpose is to defeat evil and promote good, and their nobility is so great they often mask their identity, because personal accolades are not what they are about.
Once the idea of the superhero decays, we often turn to celebrities who seem too good to be true. They capture our attention by the way they move on the field or screen. They look the way we want to look, act the way we want to act, and they are idolized for reasons we soon find out to be material. Three words….Joe Fucking Montana.
Once the celebrity hero status is squashed, so is the idea of a hero. Age brings us wisdom and experience, but also skepticism. Our childhood heroes quickly become mortal as we fight our own way through adulthood. Our society rewards conformity as we become adults. We start making the rules instead of finding ways to break them. The jokes we used to knee slap at now seem immature and childish. As we become “wiser” and more “mature,” we lose something inside us, an innocence that can never be recaptured.
I remember crying the first time I realized you were human. It was to no fault of your own, I was just “maturing.” Little did I know back then that you being human is what made you so great.
Your passing has validated something I always knew to be true, you are a hero. No, not the kind you find in a comic book or movie, the real kind. The kind that no movie can capture, no A&E biography will ever televise. Your heroism will not be known on a global scale, but its impact will last generations.
I have never met anyone with a bigger heart. I will put my life on the line and bet that no child was loved more. I idolize your approach to life. You lived your life the way people preach about but seldom follow through with. You could care less about what clothes you had, what was for dinner, what was on t.v., you simply cared that we were together. No matter what Tami, Donnie, or I did, you were always there with your love. It’s what you were good at, and you thrived in that role. While I used to think your lack of confrontations was a fault, I know see it as your biggest asset. What is the point of getting mad at someone? How does that solve any problem? You did it dad, I understand now.
I need to thank you for the following:
- Playing catch when your arm and knees were aching
- Telling me that I was the best even when I went 0-4 with 2 errors
- Loving mom with a passion that I thought could only be manufactured by Hollywood
- Crying every time I left Wenatchee after visiting from college
- Spitting every time you got fired up about the Beavers game
- Never missing a game
- Never getting mad at being the focal point of a joke, because you only wanted to see us laugh
- Giving me five dollars when I knew you couldn’t afford it
- Allowing me to be my own man
- Working your ass off so I could have new basketball shoes
- Being the best man you could possibly be
- Overcoming an addiction that few can conquer
As I stated before, your impact will last generations. My students see you in me every day. They don’t know it obviously, but my mannerisms and the way I act is directly linked to you. You equipped me with the skills I have today that people think are uniquely mine, but we know the truth. You are a part of who I am and who I will become. I have the rare opportunity to work with kids and help mold the generation and your legacy will live on through every student I help.
I just want to thank you. Thank you for being what I needed you to be. Thank you for showing me that real life heroes exist. Thank you for making me realize that flaws don’t ruin a man, they make them heroic. You are my hero always and forever.
I love you.
Trev
P.S.
Thanks to you, I will continue to educate the world the following lessons…
- Those colorful circles on telephone lines are actually dinosaur balls that got snagged on telephone polls when they swooped a little too low
- Wearing home made cutoff jean shorts are a fashion statement
- Getting your haircut from your wife is the best in town
- Whipping yourself with a switch makes sense if you think about it
- A dislocated pinky can serve as some comic relief
- Day old donuts are just as good as fresh ones
- The “granny” is a high percentage shot
- It doesn’t matter how old your glove is, as long as you use it
- College football shrine jerseys were meant to be played in, not saved
- Giving somebody the finger can be both an insult and show of affection
- farting – see above
- Real life heroes exist
TAMI'S LETTER TO DAD
Dad,
My absolute favorite and most character-revealing memory of you happened in the late 80’s. I was walking home from Lee School and you pulled up next to me in the truck on your way home from work. Unaware you were there, I can still picture looking over and seeing your big dad grin as you held a fake pink rose out the window to your little girl. The tag read, “To my Sunshine. I love you. Dad” Consequently, that was the common theme on every note to me for the rest of your life.
There are a several reasons I love this story. First, you were always home when I got home from school. Second, I truly was your sunshine and still feel as if I light up your world. Third, your gifts were always straight from your huge heart and adorably tacky.
You did beyond what was expected for your family. Instead of a tree house, we had an entire village of houses, a train, a castle, and full baseball field in our yard. I loved that dugout. You built an entire world just for us and our friends so that we could enjoy the best childhood. And you didn’t do it for any other reason than to see us happy. I’ve never known anyone whose soul purpose was to see their loved ones smile as much as it was yours.
As much as we thought of you as superman, we were your heroes, too. We could do no wrong and you made sure to tell us daily. Even when I told you to stop saying how well I was doing when I was clearly struggling, I loved and needed to hear you build me up. It was what you did best. Your love was so blind and now I know that is sometimes how it should be. Helping us believe in ourselves was always your intention. Even through the hard times, we all knew your intentions were good. You were a tough, yet kind man who was strong enough to bawl like a baby, love like there was no tomorrow and never give up.
I admire and like you because you are my hero, but I love you because you showed me how and why to love. I watched you adore mom so I knew someday I deserved a husband to do the same. You had no problem walking me down the aisle to Kelven. You knew he was the one because just like you, Kelven knows exactly how to love me, cheer me up and make me laugh. He is my daily reminder of how your love allowed me to feel so adored. I am really happy and that’s all you ever wanted.
A couple days after you passed I took Jada to the park. It was just her and I, the sun was shining and I couldn’t help but notice the stillness in the air. Birds were chirping and then I heard the crack of a baseball bat from around the corner. I look forward to these little daily sounds that remind me of you. I remember as a little girl occasionally waking up early on Saturday morning (before the cartoons were on) and asking if I could sit outside and watch you trim the edge of the grass as you did on your hands and knees throughout our entire childhood. I would sit on the little rock platform by the driveway listening to the blended sound of birds and crickets and watch you, the man I admired most, and feel love at its fullest. I never lost that feeling for you.
I love you for the man you are, the memories you gave me, and for the father-daughter connection that ultimately made me the strong girl I am today.
Nothing could reveal the true dad I knew like a list of unforgettable memories…
• Letting your kids win at everything was the way to go, even if we begged you to try your hardest.
• It was reasonable to watch the West Valley game once a day when I left the house after high school.
• Watermelon tastes better eaten with my dad.
• You and mom looked so cute sitting on the front porch watching your kids play with big smiles on your faces.
• Old, ripped Levi’s from dad’s closet were very trendy on my friends and me in middle school.
• Daughters and sons are equal. I truly was your little running back from the day I took my first step.
• You are supposed to cry at the National Anthem, especially if Whitney Houston sings it.
• You are my Sunshine is the best song of all time.
• It’s normal for your dad to say, “Man, you look pretty today” everyday.
• The Bee Gees are best heard blasting through the house.
• Your dad should act like a big kid, that’s why your friends want to hang with him (and why he fits in so well).
• Saying, “My dad could beat up your dad” and actually meaning it are two different things.
• We were convinced you were superman because you said you were.
• Refusing to go to the ballpark until you changed your daisy-duke cutoff jeans and striped tube socks was good for me and you in the long run.
• Eating cold hot dogs right from the fridge is just what dads and daughters do.
• A little bite of fat in your steak makes it better.
• When you did your funny dance in the kitchen I laughed every time because it was so ridiculous and you didn’t care.
• I always thought your way with children and animals was magical because they all swarmed to you. Innocence can sense a gentle soul like yours.
• Being an obnoxious, funny, passionate, spur of the moment big kid as an adult is an asset.
• The gas from a broken down van’s radiator burns your chest when you unscrew the hot lid without a shirt on, but a bee sting to the chest five minutes later really hurts.
• A dad’s hobby should definitely include making scrapbooks of his childrens’ talents
• The official stat book was always wrong. He would double every number and say that is what you really had. He even counted assists when your teammate missed the layup.
• Secretly driving to Chelan with Stacy would never get past you because only you would notice the bugs on the front of the truck in the morning.
• Sitting on your lap and turning the switch of the train track you built was by far the best part of it.
• Pull my finger is funny for kids at any age.
Now you don’t have to call and see if you can visit a day early because you’re here all the time.I look forward to the day I can hug you again, dad.
Love, your Sunshine
DONNIE'S LETTER TO DAD
To my Dad,
Where do I start, Dad? How could I possibly put into words the relationship we had? We did it though Dad, we lived it everyday. I hope that you are proud of me, I hope that you are proud of the son you raised, Dad. YOU did it, you loved a wonderful woman with everything you had, with a loyalty and love that is unsurpassed. For 30 plus years you gave everything you had to and for your family. You did it asking for nothing in return. You amazed me; all you needed was a pack of smokes, a few day old donuts and a glass of milk. And then to get up at 4:30 in the morning, go to a hell of a job at the asphalt plant, get nailed with hot asphalt, dirt, rock, and mud, getting home at 5:00 p.m. and get ready for a football, basketball, soccer or baseball game, because there was no way you were missing an inning quarter or one of your kids games. You did it day after day. How could a man be so unselfish? You gave and you gave and you gave… How the hell did you do it? I told you many times that I hope to grow up to be half the man you were. Because Dad, you were the definition of a man. You were it, Dad. You were the man I aspired to be. You are the man I absolutely idolized. You are a hero in every sense of the word. Dad, I liked the Yankees because you did, I wore number 7 because I wanted to be like you, I stood with my glove on my hip because you did, I wore number 21 to be like you. Like Trever said, heroes come and go; you were a hero in every sense of the word. You never left. My brother wrote the most amazing words about you that was you Dad, you did it. I am a Springsteen fan, why Dad? Because his amazing lyrics and poetry reminded me of you. I am really just a huge fan of you. I promise you Dad, I will try to love like you did. It kills me that you can’t be there to walk my beautiful Rene’ down the isle when we are married. You may not be there in person but I know you will be there in spirit. I promise dad that I will lover her like you loved, I will give her the honesty, compassion and love that I am capable of because of you. We will do it Dad. I will love her children with all of my heart. If I can be half the dad you were they will have a great life. They will be 3 lucky children that will get it all if your great traits through me. You lived an amazing life look at your family; you raised three amazing kids who are compassionate, loving, giving and most importantly just good people. That was you Dad. You were the man who just wanted to see your loved ones laugh, smile and love. Tough love to you was just bullshit, your heart was so big you couldn’t do it, and dad because of that all I wanted to do was be a good man and make the choices you did. I just wanted to be like you, my dad, my hero my best friend. That shaped me more than you’ll ever know. The way that you were a friend and a Dad can never be duplicated. I would love to have a few more hours with you, maybe to have a catch, maybe listen to Springsteen, maybe just talk. But I suppose in a strange way that I can’t comprehend, that wasn’t meant to be. The last time we saw each other an embrace with an ending of, “I love you Dad, no matter what.” It will never be forgotten. I will cherish that embrace for the rest of my life. I think that’s the most fitting ending we could have and it means so much to me. Year Dad, we fucking did it. We have talked about this Dad, we knew this day would come neither one of us knew how the hell we would do it, how either of us would make it, but Dad I will do it! I will do it for you. I feel you with me, guiding me, I feel you, Dad. I know that you will never leave me; I may need a little help here and there so please watch over me. You were absolutely the world to me Dad, Please know that. In a strange way I think that you know. Like I said Dad. There are no words to explain what you mean to me. This letter is very similar to what Trev wrote; I hope this letter tells you, Dad, what an impact you had on us. For me Dad this letter is not the end for me, it is just a new kind of beginning for us. You will be with me always. So Dad in respect to this new relationship let me reflect on a few memories and stories from our past maybe also a few key points and lessons:
I love you Dad and I miss you more than I can say.
~ Hoosiers blaring theme music is the only way to start a game day.
~ Ha, Ha, ttttthhhhh ttttthhh is a great laugh.
~ McDonald’s won’t sell you a glass of milk in the drive thru.
~ Varne shoes should only be worn if the click is so loud your neighbor can hear them.
~ Make sure porn bills are real on the computer (It might be your sons playing a joke on you!)
~ For my money, I take my Dad in a fight against the biggest mother fucker you’ve got!
~ Jumping over the pool table flat-footed is a story that should be shared for many generations.
~ Glory Days and Dancing in the Dark are not corny Eighties songs when you’re listening to them, Dad.
~ It’s and absolute honor to be named after your father, Cherish it.
~ Few people can claim they played college football and fell so hard on the roller skating rink that they had to stop the music and turn on the lights.
~ Falling down slippery stairs, breaking your coffee cup, spilling coffee on yourself and coming in the house holding just the handle of the cup is worth the pain if it makes your boys laugh!
So, Dad, goodbye and hello. I am so honored to call you my dad. I love you Dad, I love you with everything I have! And thank you Dad, thank you simply for just being my dad, my hero, my best friend.
I love you Dad,
Your son and best friend,
Donnie Summers
KELVEN'S LETTER TO DAD
Hey Don,
You probably didn’t even know you were doing it, but over the last 5 years, you have taught me so many things. Most notably, you taught me how to raise a daughter. You taught me how to be a family man and not give a shit about anything else, because what else really matters? Tami is the confident, funny young woman she is today because of you. Not every girl is lucky enough to have a dad who gives unconditional love every day. I look back at the stories about when your kids were young, and that is what I am going to strive for as a dad. I’m lucky enough to see you every day when I look at your daughter. She is so much like you. She wears her heart and emotion on her sleeve without apologies. She makes jokes, laughs, burps, farts, loves animals, loves kids, and eats unhealthy just like you. Thanks (for some of those). I’m also hoping that your athleticism passes from Tami to our kids so I can watch them play like you used to. My friends say it better come from you because my genes aren’t much help to my kids unless they want to be a mediocre golfer.
Thanks for continuing to tell me all the stories about playing football even if I asked too many times. Now I only wish I would have asked more, because you would have had one hell of a biography. Thanks for writing part of your life story and sharing it with us – you left off writing about OJ Simpson and the SC game – how dare you stop right there! I’m so happy that you’re in a place where your knees feel like they did years ago. I hope you’re running sprints and dodging tacklers. I also promise that that the Beavers will be my 2nd favorite team forever.
You have one of the biggest hearts of any person I have ever met. Once you loved a person, you loved them forever – despite any faults or conflicts. You loved unconditionally, and that is part of what made you an amazing guy. Tami tells me that you would make sure to get home early from work and never miss a game. The highlight of your adult life was being with your family. I admire that so much about you.
There are other things I learned from you:
• Christmas is not Christmas without a train
• A 12 pack of Coke is not enough for a one day visit
• The best ham sandwich is just made with white bread, lots of butter, and hot ham.
• “Touchdown Beavers” can be shouted after any team you are rooting for scores
• It is ok to cry when your kids leave, or when there is a sad movie, or a sad song, or really just about anything.
• Flipping people off is another way of saying “I love you”
• Everyone needs a nice hot bath once in a while
• There’s no shame in ordering six tacos from Jack in the Box
• There’s no real reason to wear underwear
• Coach as many teams as humanly possible
• It’s ok to love your son-in-law as one of your own
• It’s ok to hug and say “I love you” to everyone before you leave
• Every generation must have a “sonny boy”
• Life’s priority list is family, family, family, family, then sports, then work, then everything else
• Laughter cures everything
I also want to thank you for wanting to be your best around our family. You always put on a smile and pretended everything was ok – even up to the last time I talked to you. Thanks for making Jada laugh all the time. Ever since she was an infant, you had a bond with her, you made her smile. As she got older, you made her laugh and scream so hard by chasing her around the house and scaring her with a big BOO! Even with your knees aching, you never stayed seated when she came up, grabbed your finger, and pulled you into her room to play with toys saying “Papa toyyyyyyys!” You couldn’t resist. She loves you so much. It bothers the hell out of me that she is so young and probably won’t remember much about you, but I promise never to stop telling our kids stories about you.
I just hope you know how much you meant to so many people. You were a great guy with a great big heart. You thought of me as another son, and I am proud to think of you as another dad. Thanks for teaching me so much about life in our short time together. Don’t go get a big head about any of this either. I know you’re up in heaven reading this, probably crying, and probably thinking you’re really awesome. I guess the secret is out.
I love you and will think about you every day.
Kelven
RENE'S LETTER TO DAD
Don,
I had to wait a few days before I could actually write something to dedicate to your memory. I am absolutely so sad you are gone. I sit here and read all of the wonderful things your children say about you and I must admit I am a bit envious. You are everything a father should be and more. I never knew my father and often wondered what he would be like and I can say, I doubt he would measure up to the father you are. You were a father, best friend, companion, protector and loving man. I am so blessed to have met the wonderful son you raised. I promise I will love him with all my heart and energy and soul. He deserves to have all the best things in life, and I plan on giving them to him. Rest in peace knowing this, I will treat him with respect and love him always. I am very sorry you never got to meet my children, they have missed out on the opportunity to meet a man whose heart is bigger then anyone’s. It was such a joy to have you around, I know that you really liked me and you gave the greatest hugs. I will never forget thanksgiving dinner; you came to our home and ate not 1, but 2 plates of food! I was so honored, and we loved the same cheesecake! Since you have been gone, I have gotten 2 coupons for Sara lee! And you know I am going to use them. As I am writing this the sun is shining on me from the window, I feel such happiness, even though this is a sad time. I want to thank you don, you always had a smile on your face and you gave me Donnie. I know this has been really difficult for Donnie and I have to tell you, you would be so proud of your son! He had been such a man and he has honored your spirit and name completely. This could be a time where we decide to be weak and give in to our vices, and yet we have not. I have learned I do not need spirits to grieve. I can feel pain and accept it and learn from it, and for this I thank you also. I know you are with us always now, and one day we all will be reunited, just like Betty and Steve and mike. I am really sad you can’t be there to watch us exchange vows; I know you will be watching though, and smiling that wonderful smile that warms the heart. I will miss you.
Love,
Rene’
